No diet soda, but I did have a four pieces of candy when I was at the salon getting my hair colored & cut yesterday.  So I re-started my 30-day clock – now it runs May 11 – June 11.  Not beating myself up over it, it is what it is, and I am just going to keep moving forward.

I’ve also been thinking about stepping on the scale – although I’m pretty sure I know about what I weigh, and I don’t know why the actual number matters.  I suspect however that the physical therapist is going to put me on a scale tomorrow when I see her.  I just wish the damn number didn’t always seem so important!

Winter made what I hope is it’s last showing here today, it’s been snowy and cold all day – so I spent the day just relaxing and binge watching Law & Order SVU, and made a pot of chili.  Other than that, I did NOTHING!  Didn’t even get out of my jammies.  It’s been GLORIOUS.   Too bad I have to go to work tomorrow.  :(

Made zero progress on the unfucking this weekend – just didn’t feel up to it.  The plan is to clean off the dining room table and take some trash out tomorrow when I get home from work, OH and to do the dishes in the sink tonight.

So that’s me today.

or two, or three, or four…

I always tend to aim WAY too high on my goals – I’ll want to accomplish 10 things and then get so friggin’ overwhelmed that NOTHING gets accomplished.  This can be related to weight loss, stuff around the house, crafts, pretty much everything – except work for some reason.

But I’m an inveterate list maker.  Lists make me both happy and stressed, but generally more happy than stressed.  Every time I decide re-start my weight loss/get healthier plan, I start with a list of things to accomplish in a month.  So a couple days ago I started my list.  And it just kept growing.  So I decide to break it into multiple months.  Still too much.  So today I decided to scrap that list altogether and (hopefully) never revisit it.

But I feel like I need goals.  So I have decided on the following four for the next 30-days (May 9 – Jun 9).

1.  NO CANDY (this will be hard!)

2.  NO Diet Soda (this will be not so hard)

3.  Walk Dutch 1x a week (have to overcome my laziness and using knee pain as an excuse)

4.  Pool exercise 1x a week (ditto)

This starts tomorrow mainly because of this:

30-day1

The candy fruit slices always seem like a better idea than they actually are.  And in my defense I did have an actual lunch before I delved into the bag of candy.

The shrink also wants me to work on actually feeling my feelings (don’t laugh – it’s hard!) rather than trying to push them off, or fight them.  Let’s just say I don’t like feeling my feelings.

In other news, I have until June 19 to get my house unfucked.  Why June 19?  Well because on June 20 I have a cleaning service scheduled to start!!!  The first clean is a deep clean, and I cannot wait!!!!  What does unfucking mean?  Well – I need to do a TON of de-cluttering basically.  So I’m trying to follow the advice from Unfuck Your Habitat – it’s awesome.  So expect updates on that progress for the next few weeks – and if I’m feeling brave, maybe some before and after pics as well.

The Endo did an A1C test on me last week because my Blood Glucose was a little high on my previous blood work (101)…  and as I feared, the news was not good.  I expected that I’d be “slightly” pre-diabetic, but with an A1C of 6.2 I’m at the high end and too damn close to diabetic.  So it’s REALLY time to make the changes I keep yammering about.

I have my yearly physical with my PCP tomorrow, so I expect the main topic of discussion to be how to stop me from developing diabetes…

blarg

But at least I know, and I can do something about it before it gets worse.

The Endo says that “weight loss through improved diet and exercise is critical to prevent the development of diabetes”…  And he has promised to nag me about it too (I told him that was fair).   I’m just still in freaked out mode – I keep thinking of my Dad’s cousin who on one of her feet lost all of her toes and part of her foot because of her diabetes (not to mention the insulin injections).  That is NOT a road I want to be anywhere NEAR!

I’m thinking it’s the combination of the non-generic Thyroid Meds and working out.  Because I’m feeling closer to normal than I have in years!  And that makes me very very happy.

It also makes me very very happy that I have the next two days off!!!  Today I had a lovely pre-birthday day with my BGBF – we had a nice meal out and yakked and knitted.  Nice and relaxing.  And apparently exhausting for my boy Angus – he’s dead asleep and snoring up a storm!  I am dreading having to be at water aerobics at 6am with the hated spring time change…  I woke up this morning at what I thought was 9 or maybe 10am, but lo and behold – it was 11!  I already want my hour back…  *grumble*

Tomorrow for my birthday I get to have lunch with a good friend, and then I go see my mom for a bit, and then I get to relax.  And Tuesday the only plans I have are to see the Evil Trainer.  I’m trying really hard to not focus on my age, but honest to God, 50 is really freaking me out!  It’s not like I look (or act) my age, I just can’t believe how fast 50 snuck up on me.  So I need to keep myself busy so I don’t fall into my habit of eating when I’m bothered about stuff.  Oh and I am also going to call the therapist I’ve been playing phone tag with to see if I can get an appointment scheduled.

It’s been a long friggin’ week at work, and I’m REALLY looking forward to having the next four days off…

I’ve already fallen off the Lent wagon – mainly because I forgot that I was not going to eat meat on Fridays, and I had roast beef today.   BUT I am sticking to my vow of no pop/vending machine snacks, so I got that going for me  ;)

I’ve got Pilates tomorrow morning, and then perhaps if I’m in the mood, I may go to the pool for some water walking.  If it’s nice outside, I’m thinking the pool will be pretty empty.  AND I have to get my butt to 24-hour Fitness to cancel my membership – I keep forgetting to do that…  I’m also retaining water like the friggin’ Hoover Dam!  My weight has gone up almost 4 pounds in the last 2 days, and my ankles are just finally starting to feel normal.  Just goes to show me the amount of salt in frozen dinners is hell on my system – no matter how much water I drink.

I also discovered today that Kashi granola bars are dangerous for me to have around – they are sooo good that I just stuff my face with them, so they are now banned from my house!  On the plus side, I believe I hit my daily requirement of fiber for today.  Actually according to my Diet Power software, I ate 192% of my daily recommended fiber.

And this may sound crazy, but I think that after just a couple days on the non-Generic Thyroid meds that I can feel the difference.  I’m sure I’m imagining it – or just really wanting it to be true.

Reverting to my Catholic upbringing – Lent starts tomorrow so I’m giving up some things for it!  (Mom would be so proud!):

  1. NO SNACKS at work – this means crackers, candy, vending machine junk, etc.  Lets just say I over snacked today, and although I am not over on my calories, my tummy isn’t happy.
  2. NO Pop at work (again, it’s really the only time I have it)
  3. NO meat on Fridays – instead of Meatless Monday, I’m going to have Meatless Fridays in keeping with Lent

As a kid I always vowed to give up sweets, but since my birthday is ALWAYS during lent, I always made an exception for that – and since I’m turning 50 this year, I’d be making a HUGE exception (I hear through the grapevine that there will be my favorite cake at the party – WHITE WEDDING CAKE!!!!)

No Evil Trainer tonight – he called last night and asked me to reschedule to tomorrow – so I’ll have Water Aerobics in the morning, and him at night…  I’m gonna be friggin’ EXHAUSTED!  My knees are achy today – I may have to pop an Aleve tonight before bed.

 

 

 

 

How 60 minutes of Water Aerobics doesn’t feel like work at all while you are doing them, then about 3-4 hours later I feel it in my legs, my ass, my shoulders, and arms. Which of course means I that I DID get my ass out of bed and went out into the cold, snowy morning for the first day of my 3 months of water aerobics.  And I enjoyed the hell out of it!  And I will also sleep like the dead tonight.  And I’m already looking forward to the next session on Wednesday.  :)

I may or may not drag my ass out of bed at the crack of 5am tomorrow to do water walking – I may start that next week.  BUT I am going to do it on my Fridays – since there is no class that day.  My knees ached a bit during the class, but no more than I expected.  Since I don’t hate the water (I  hate treadmills, & stationary bikes – I like ellipticals, but at present, they jut hurt too much to do for 30 minutes), I think it’s going to be a great cardio for me.  And as much as I hate getting up early, I think it will be easier for me than dragging myself to the gym after a long day at work when I’m at my most exhausted…  Well, except for the 2x a week I see the Evil trainer that is  :)